Life is good.  I do so much these days and sit in front of a computer for personal browsing so irregularly, that I have gotten out of the habit of encapsulating the different meanderings of life for consumption on the internet.

It’s probably a good thing.  The last year has been a combination of hard work and undeserved up-sides after a reasonably long season of just-pushing-through in 2008-09.  I have well and truly landed on my feet and done very little to deserve it.  I currently live in a great house with fantastic housemates.  I’m part of a great church from which I draw much encouragement through great friends and challenging discussions about living out of a faith in Jesus.  I have a good job that pushes me to work hard.

It all feels decidedly temporary but it’s really, really good.  Winter is nearly over and the sun is about to come back for the spring and summer.  Life is good. 

Tonight, however, I achieved a minor victory for prospective car buyers across the great state of Victoria.  You see, fortunately for us little consumers we have these wonderful laws which require Licenced Motor Car Traders (LMCT) to disclose their trading licence number when they advertise a vehicle for sale.  You will find this inconveniently placed at the bottom of each ad on the various websites, such that you have to scroll to get to it.  However, once you have this little gem, if the dealer is in Victoria, you can use the LMCT number to get their address from the Department of Justice Public Register.  Then you can happily go car browsing and shopping without them knowing that you’re coming.

Web usability: 1  Car industry: 0

Tell your friends.

(It’s been a while between posts, I know.)

I watched some of Hannah Montana this morning. Not because I’m creepy either. I was eating my weetbix. I like the show a little bit. It reminds me of old shows that I used to watch back in school days like Saved By The Bell and California Dreams, which were Saturday morning favourites for my sister and I. Anyway, in this morning’s episode, Hannah came up with a ripper of a quote, which I wanted to share because it’s such a good shut down. I think more girls should use it when they’re being chased by guys in their “just friends” category.

[to her closest male friend, at the suggestion that they would make a good couple]

Hannah:  “Eeww! I don’t love you!… I mean…

I love you… but like a brother, or even… a pet goldfish.

I’d cry if I had to flush you down the toilet but I don’t want to kiss you.”

It’s just perfect on so many levels.

What I learned, was actually more about me. My instinct was to avoid the issue, whether that be wanting to run away from the office and hide in a dark hole for the day, or just being less than motivated and becoming easily distracted by the many trivialities that can exist in a busy office. Eventually, I realised that I’d gotten myself a bit worked up. I ended up opening up a Word document and just throwing the thoughts into it quickly and reading them back. I’d actually become so worried about the idea of not meeting my deadline, that the initial hurdle… the bit that required holding a little bit of nerve… was almost too much to face. I wasn’t sure how things were going to pan out, so I stopped being particularly constructive and just started having a bit of a sook and bracing for the impact.

I can think of a few instances recently where I’ve had a similar reaction to less-than-comfortable situations. I am going to try to change this habit. I’ve been sitting back trying to think of people I know, who seem to roll with challenges better than I do when the world starts to seem a little bit less certain. I can think of a few… and I think I can work out what they have in common. Part of it is about habit and practiced discipline. More than that though, it seems like they actually “have” something. Maybe there’s something to this:

Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah

Stuff Christians Like

This week is a milestone is the life of Paul. It’s officially one year since I moved across the city to the eastern suburbs.

In that time, I’ve swapped 23+ years in a familiar church community, for a fresh start at Yarra Valley Vineyard Christian Fellowship. I’ve moved house four times. I’ve worked on audits at a stack of companies and associations. I’ve led on a kids camp. I’ve occasionally helped to lead a youth group. I’ve been a groomsman in a wedding. I’ve been to Soul Survivor. I have purchased and watched almost seven seasons of Stargate: SG-1 on DVD. I’ve spent some weekends in Traralgon and Buxton. Last week, I went to a wedding and a “Narnia” themed 21st birthday party on the same night.

I remember really struggling when I first made the move. I remember feeling stranded and alone. I remember worrying about whether people were accepting me and not feeling as though I had a place. If people took an interest in getting to know me, it wouldn’t take very long for some painful stuff that I was still sorting through to bubble up in one way or another. Looking back on it now, I’m realising that I didn’t enjoy the re-establishing process as much as I could have. I think I probably did that to myself. I had a few too many narrow expectations of what I was looking for. I failed to realise the opportunity I had to embrace my new community context, even when I was hurting.

These days, I feel like I have my feet planted much more firmly on the ground. It didn’t happen in the way I expected though. None of my narrow expectations have been met. Instead, I’ve found myself in community with a really diverse bunch of people, who all have their own stories, their own expectations, their own painful memories, their own hope and their own faith. I want to share in those things with them.

I thought I was looking for my place in the world. I think I’d rather just be a part of things where I am and see what comes of it. It’s a liberating conclusion. There are a number of people to whom I feel deeply grateful - people who walked alongside me for the past year while I was figuring this stuff out - who saw me at my worst and at times, wore the brunt of it. You know who you are. Thank you, sincerely, for being there and for your graciousness.

“A person who is full tramples on honeycomb, but to a hungry person, any bitter thing is sweet.” Too many times young adults run around so starved for any kind of relationship that they choose any warm body to fill the void. They’ll take a “bitter” relationship just to have a relationship, rather than resting in the contentment God provides.

Read the whole article over at Threads

Tim hears what’s going on and appears from the kitchen, grabbing some towels on the way and he’s in there helping to get the cleanup effort started.  Within three minutes, order was restored to the world of the loungeroom.

Tim’s rationale, which I liked enough to blog about, was that everybody finds it really depressing when they have to clean up something that they’ve just spilled themselves.  However, when you’re not the clown who did the spilling, it actually isn’t that hard to sort it out quickly because you’re not beating yourself up about being a klutz at the same time as solving the problem.

So, the moral of the story is, next time someone spills something, help them to clean it up and then explain the theory to them and invite them to pay it forward. I hope I’m nice enough to be helpful (and that I actually remember) when the shoe eventually ends up on the other foot.

I have question marks everywhere at the moment and I’m not entirely sure what to do with them. The only resolution I’ve been able to come to, is that the question marks have been there all along. It’s so easy to construct a sense of safety from things that you tell yourself will never change. Yet here I am, living on the opposite side of the city to everything that’s familiar to me, working in a field that I never thought I’d work in. It’s hard sometimes. I miss the familiarity of a lifestyle where predetermined actions produced predictable results. I miss being part of a wider social network where I have a deep history of interconnectedness with the others around me. Unquestionably, I have a few runs on the board over here but it’s not the same.

Part of that is just the reality of relocating, making new connections. I’m cool with that. Things will start to feel a bit more consistent with time. I have consolidated some good friendships here, so this isn’t an exercise in comparing the old to the new.

The difference is that a long time ago, I had an unwavering, somewhat innocent ability to trust that everything was OK and to not be threatened by looming question marks because I thought I had a bunch of full-stops around me - things that were definite and resolute, holding me in place.

I’m starting to entertain the idea that full-stops are the things we use to make ourselves feel safe from the question marks. It’s not until one of our non-negotiable assumptions is disrupted by circumstance that we start to wonder if we really do have all of the answers that we need. I think some people probably spend their whole lives defending their full-stops because this feels much, much safer than being confronted by things that they can neither reconcile nor control. I think this is what it means to be religious.

Of course, it’s extremely trendy to be relativistic and not commit verbally to believing anything. I think that’s probably a cop-out though because on the surface you’re making sure that no one ever has a chance to tell you that you’re wrong… but you’re still being just as defensive about the question marks as the people who try to fight them by being dogmatic. I don’t think anyone is prepared to give up all of their full-stops. I don’t think I am. I’m not sure where this leaves me.

This post is way too introspective but I hope you like the picture - I made it myself.