Virtually Paul

Hope: Climbing the mountain

August 26, 2008 on 9:16 pm | In The Life of Paul |

I learned something interesting today. I had a really difficult task to get sorted. I wasn’t equipped to sort it out by myself but I am directly accountable for a tight deadline that I have to meet. I couldn’t start my work on that until this first bit was out of the way. I wasn’t happy. It’s really hard to motivate yourself to get something done when you don’t really grasp the concept behind it. In the end, I had to enlist some serious help. I got there in the end, with some serious coaching and a little bit of I’ll-just-do-this-bit-for-you. I understand a lot more about the process than when I started but it was quite technical accounting stuff. I don’t think I’d be able to go through the process on my own tomorrow.

What I learned, was actually more about me. My instinct was to avoid the issue, whether that be wanting to run away from the office and hide in a dark hole for the day, or just being less than motivated and becoming easily distracted by the many trivialities that can exist in a busy office. Eventually, I realised that I’d gotten myself a bit worked up. I ended up opening up a Word document and just throwing the thoughts into it quickly and reading them back. I’d actually become so worried about the idea of not meeting my deadline, that the initial hurdle… the bit that required holding a little bit of nerve… was almost too much to face. I wasn’t sure how things were going to pan out, so I stopped being particularly constructive and just started having a bit of a sook and bracing for the impact.

I can think of a few instances recently where I’ve had a similar reaction to less-than-comfortable situations. I am going to try to change this habit. I’ve been sitting back trying to think of people I know, who seem to roll with challenges better than I do when the world starts to seem a little bit less certain. I can think of a few… and I think I can work out what they have in common. Part of it is about habit and practiced discipline. More than that though, it seems like they actually “have” something. Maybe there’s something to this:

Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah